


Dangerous Paths

by gin200168



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-12
Updated: 2006-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-03 20:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gin200168/pseuds/gin200168
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of a peek inside Danny's head during an evening with Mac.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous Paths

He clutches at the back of Mac's head, fingers digging in, and gets a firm grip on the back of his skull, holding tight to the wild man on top of him. ///it's always better when mac seems to _feel_ again/// His arm strains to hold him so tightly, fingers almost gnarled in spasms of pleasure, other arm wrapped tightly around Mac's side, keeping him as close as possible. Mac grinds roughly against him, head bent and teeth digging painful little pleasure spikes into Danny's shoulder. He likes the marks they leave behind, and knows that Mac does too, even if he won't admit it. They're also a relief to Danny, that Mac might be purging his demons a bit while pushing them closer and closer to pleasure.

He gets the most marks when Mac's emotional, feelings bubbling under the surface, betraying his stoic exterior. ///fighting all the shit the shit that's all my fault/// His mind flashes to a brief second of Mac holding his head sort of like how he's holding Mac's right now, as he cried on Mac's shoulder outside the hospital while Louie lay barely alive in the ICU. As much as it still hurts, he pushes it to the back of his mind. Now is not the time to open old wounds-- the current ones are still fresh enough-- and much more importantly he's got Mac on top of him bucking into him like he's a bronco being spurred.

Mac's recent brush with death with Flack has seemed to throw him from almost bleeding hurt to stoicism and back again, and Danny can see it in Mac's eyes and feel it in his touch. ///his eyes flash dark then blank again and i wish they would go back to how they were before/// Danny feels it all deeply, and desperately _wants_ to help but leaves it unsaid, for fear of upsetting Mac even more. He figures he can just try to stay as consistent and calm and just _be_ there for Mac as much as possible, and that hopefully it could be the best possible option to keep Mac from falling over the razor's edge that he knows he's been teetering on for weeks now. ///too much trouble too much danger a man can only take so much even mac he's human and breakable like the rest of us///

He wakes up at night when Mac screams in his sleep, reliving Beirut or the recent bomb or god knows what else. ///if i knew i could fix it except all i ever do is make it even more of a mess/// He's even come away with a bruise once—from a flying fist that he couldn't control--but put a lot of effort into making sure that Mac didn't know he had caused it. He fears that it would be the final straw that would make Mac push him from their bed and only make Mac's sleep even worse than it already is. ///it's only a matter of time until mac really does push me away for whatever i've done this time/// The last thing Mac needs now is the guilt of having caused Danny true harm—even if it was a dream induced bruise.

Sometimes he worries that Mac could be capable of something worse while they sleep, but he knows Mac is well... Mac. A honorable, good man. ///even if he knows a million ways to kill someone/// He'd never do that. He could never hurt someone he loves ///is there really love or just a stupid pipe dream/// like that.

Once they've both finished and settled down onto the bed, Mac runs his hands in stuttering passes over Danny's body, subconsciously inspecting every inch for injury. It's become a habit of Mac's as of late, and to Danny it's comforting but worrisome. He likes the feeling of Mac's hands running all over him-- strong, warm, protective, and possessive-- although he'd never actually admit it to anyone, not even Mac. The strokes become more languid and smooth as Mac relaxes more and more, obviously not finding anything out of the ordinary. ///what does he expect to find my guts spilling out like don's or maybe that he's finally broken me on the outside now too/// He stills and puts one hand broadly on Danny's back and pulls his chin up for a gentle kiss.

He can feel Mac's body slowing down and falling towards sleep despite his best efforts—Mac always seems to stay awake longer than he can, often watching over him ///i think that's what he does why does he waste his time on that when he could be sleeping i don't know// and probably trying to put off the inevitable nightmares that seem to plague him.

Mac's arm is draped heavily over his side, and Danny shifts towards Mac and curls into him, getting closer than he would if they were awake—Mac sleeps much more quietly when Danny's draped over him. Something about the contact must reassure him somehow, and even if it's not the best positioning for two grown men, it will do. ///then we'll both sleep decent and i'm not this close cause i'd happily crawl into his skin and hide for a while///

Mac shifts and mumbles something, and Danny brings a hand up to the back of Mac's neck, stroking in a familiar pattern. He just barely moves his fingers back and forth in the short trimmed hair there and Mac settles quickly. Danny lets a smile tug at the corners of his sleepy mouth, knowing that it won't last forever, but he'll take it all for now.

 

Fin

7/06


End file.
